There is God’s voice within me. Listening to that voice is the best, most meaningful, most productive thing I can do.
I hear the voice all the time. But most of the time I ignore it. I overlook it. I take it for granted. I think, “yeah, yeah, that’s true, but….” Most of the time I fail to recognize it as God’s voice. I assume it is my own silly voice. Something obvious and not exciting.
I look for God’s voice in places which seem more exciting. In the news. On the web. In the form of the rich, the famous, the powerful, the beautiful, the educated, the elite. In the big events of the day: the political battles, the intellectual arguments, the word historical changes taking place.
I assume my life is small. That their life over there is big. And God is big. So he will speak from over there. In the form of the people who are most well known, most influential, who every one has heard of.
Peering out over there, craining my neck to grasp what they are saying and doing and thinking, I worry that I don’t hear God’s voice in them after all. That therefore I don’t hear His voice anywhere. That I am abandoned.
So I despair. I cry out in pain. I moan my sense of loss and feeling lost.
In that despair, I hear the voice I hear all the time, but which I took for granted. The voice that all along I assumed was nothing but my own silly, small voice.
But now when I forget about the voices of the world, of those “in the know” and what my family or culture or community thinks, of what the rich and the famous say and their battles emblazoned on tv – when I listen to the ever present voice within me without comparing it to the voice of others, then I realize the truth. That constant voice within me, which speaks to me in my particularity and which is so close to me as if it were nothing but my inner monologue – that voice is God’s voice.
It has been there all along. His voice is always there. With me. In my innermost mind and heart. So close to me that I assumed it is just me.
Then I see God smile and say, “You are beautiful just as you are. I don’t need to speak to you through anyone else. Not through the famous or the powerful. Not through those who you envy or who you are in awe of or who you look up to. I created you as you are, just as you are, with just all the things that happened to you and all the thoughts and impulses and desires and anxieties you have, just as you are so that I can speak to you like this. This is how I want to speak to you. You don’t have to become better to listen to me. Or become different. You don’t have blame yourself or chastise yourself to be different. You just have to accept yourself as you are, really, truly are and see that as how I made you so that you and I can connect this way, now.”
As I hear God’s voice, an amazing thing happens. I am no longer subordinate to anyone in the world. I don’t have to put myself down and listen to them so that I can hear God through them. No need, thank you very much. I can hear God just me as I am, and that is how God intends it.
This doesn’t make me better than others, since after all God is speaking to everyone else also in just the same way, in their voices to them personally, if only they will listen to it.
But it makes me as good as any person alive. Or dead. As good as Bezos and all his billions. As good as Trump or Obama or any president. As good as Einstein or Wittgenstein. As good as John Lennon or Michael Jordan. Not in singing or basketball, or in physics. But as good as any of them as just a person. If I meet them I don’t have to bow down to them or feel second to them.
I am God’s child. And they are God’s children. God loves us the same and equally. We each have the same, equal access to Him, for he opens himself to each of us as we are, in the depths of the unique voice we each have.
In God there is only love. Pure love. Disseminated to all equally.
That is what God’s voice in me tells me. As I hear it and know I have come home to that voice, I smile. I open my heart and ears to God’s voice and let the sweetness of his love and his words wash over me.